ButterPies.com - Doing the kid thing

Joanna of Lexington Park, Maryland writes:

My husband David is coming towards to the end of his 23-month IA, and it has been a huge learning experience for all of us. I have learned that children need a lot of reassurance that the parent who is away loves them, thinks about them and misses them. That they can’t always call, that they can’t see them for a long time so its important for them to be able to visualize that parent, who they haven’t seen for so long. This is when I decided to put photos of my husband with the children doing normal household things in the place where they would normally occur. So for example, in the kitchen, there is a picture of him sitting at the table, holding my daughter. In the living room, a picture of him on the sofa holding both children. All these are eye level for the kids. Another important thing to show that their parents have a strong relationship too. We talk alot about our relationship and make sure that there are photos of us together around for the kids to see. When we’re out doing something, we talk about daddy being there and what we’ll tell him about what we’ve been doing.

If you’re finding it hard coping on your own, assess what will make you happy. For me, I found a part-time job that I really enjoy and the kids are in school, so I get a few hours to myself to run the errands or workout or whatever on my own. Find a good babysitter and go out once a month, even if you are new to the area and have to go by yourself.

We have a big calendar wall-chart on the wall that we mark off every day with an ‘X’ and I write what we did that day. It shows time moving forward and anything that does that, is a huge help.